Shirley Gillenwater Obituary

Shirley Gillenwater

December 26, 2025

A wonderful wife, mother, grandmother, caregiver and community member, Shirley Brockman Gillenwater, 92 years old, of Charlottesville, Virginia, died on Dec. 26, 2025, at home with her family at her side. Shirley was a sweet-natured and intelligent woman who had a happy, memorable impact on those who knew her, from her family and friends to the girls who were part of the Girl Scout troop she led in the 1960s and 70s. Her home was always open to family and friends, including many family members who convalesced with her help during medical procedures at the UVA hospital. Holiday meals at Shirley's home were super-sized as she was determined to provide each family member with his or her favorite dish. Underneath her gentle demeanor, she had a hidden feisty side and a wry sense of humor.

Born on Aug. 1, 1933, in Kingsport, Tennessee, she was the daughter of Albert Davis Brockman and Joyce Virginia Brockman. She and her surviving husband, Dr. Jay Young Gillenwater, were born within five days of each other and spent their first days in the hospital nursery together. They then attended school together, where Jay dipped her pigtails in ink pots and stole her books and shoes when she walked home. They went on their first date at age sixteen when Shirley invited Jay to a Christmas dance, and a romance was born.

Shirley attended college for two years at Florida Southern College before transferring to Vanderbilt University, where she graduated with honors. She and Jay were married in Kingsport, Tennessee on June 22, 1955. Shirley worked as a teacher and in other jobs while Jay finished medical school and his medical training. They moved to Charlottesville in 1965 with their three children when Jay accepted a position at the University of Virginia Medical School in the Urology Department. Shirley then concentrated on raising their children while also serving as a Girl Scout leader, volunteer for many charities, and member of Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church. She and Jay also traveled extensively and shared many adventures with their children and grandchildren. They celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary in the summer of 2025.

Shirley is survived by her husband, Dr. Jay Young Gillenwater, of Charlottesville; her daughter Linda Bauer, Esq. and husband Seth Bauer of Boston, MA; her daughter Dr. Ann Gillenwater and husband Dr. James Martin of Houston, TX; her son Dr. Jay M. Gillenwater and wife Dr. Heidi Gillenwater of Charlottesville, VA; and eight grandchildren, Ethan Bauer and wife Kelly Offutt of Silver Spring, MD; Thomas Martin of Houston, Texas; Carolyn Martin of Houston, TX; Jay H. Gillenwater of Raleigh, NC; Virginia Martin of Washington, DC; Katherine Gillenwater of Denver, CO; Grace Gillenwater of Santa Barbara, CA; and Thor Gillenwater, of Newark, DE.

The family is planning a private burial in Kingsport, and a celebration of Shirley's life in Charlottesville this spring. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that memorial contributions be made to Shelter for Help in Emergency (SHE), Piedmont CASA, Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA), or the Charlottesville Scholarship Program. Condolences can be sent to the family at www.hillandwood.com.